Thanks for coming.

But seriously, after over 10 years of uncertainty, let’s take a quick second to celebrate the fact that this movie got made and actually includes characters from the game series.

Okay, now that that’s over, I have some good news and some bad news.

The Good News:

Now, you may be surprised to learn this, but movies based on successful video game franchises have a… sordid history. And while Uncharted is nowhere near a groundbreaking game-changer by any means, I will give it this. There are far worse video game adaptions out there. If you come into this movie as a casual fan, hoping for a popcorn flick that will give you brief Indiana Jones vibes, then you won’t be too disappointed. As long as you can keep your brain turned off or at least down for the majority of the two-hour run time. However, if you are looking for a movie that delivers a satisfying story involving the characters that built this franchise, then I have some bad news.

The Bad News:

This movie kinda sucks.

They waste their lead villain and replace him with a henchman who doesn’t get enough time to be built up as a larger threat than the first guy. Tom Holland plays Peter Parker in this movie, not Nathan Drake. Mark Wahlberg is playing the role of Mark Wahlberg. This dude isn’t much like the Sully in the games.

When it’s all said and done, I didn’t hate this movie. I didn’t like it either. I felt nothing really. I just feel cold. Anyway, considering the other movie adaptations of major game franchises, I’ll consider this a win in that sense. If you are looking for an hour and a half of mindless fun, then check this out at your theater’s next discount night. But if you are a fan of the Uncharted series or good movies with well-thought-out characters and plots, maybe skip this one. You know what, why don’t your just play you favorite Uncharted game instead? I think that’s what I’m going to do.